everything explained and COMPLETE loss of faith...read on

So things for me have been really up and down the past few weeks...okay few months....and now i know why. *sigh*

Warning: probably plenty of T.M.I. in this post...just letting ya know

Okay, so...in high school I was diagnosed with diabetes....fun. This was after a year of seeing a bajillion doctors and having them each diagnose something new...pseudo tumor and hepatitis (not like the bad ones...just means a virus of the liver) after a liver biopsy with NO effective anaesthetic and plenty of other stuff that I've blocked out. Okay. Diabetes. I can handle that.

So that was sophomore year in high school-ish.

Anyway, years go by...and I'm able to control everything with just diet. Hormones suck in many ways but at the time they seemed to have settled down. I was off meds and boy did I feel sooo much better without them. Thanks to them I'm allergic to the sun and often have GI issues. (See? There's the TMI.)

So that was about a year and half, maybe two years ago. I stopped testing my blood sugars about four months ago (which in retrospect was not the best choice but no lectures please). I was feeling probably the best I had in years (with no meds, coincidence?) and all the female plumbing had started to work again (more TMI).

So then things aren't going so well. I'm tired, thirsty, and peeing all the time. I'm hungry an hour after I eat but I'm not gaining weight. I didn't really notice until I went home and drank a three-liter bottle of water in a day and a half. I tried to test at home but had no strips...it seemed okay to leave it to when I got back to Indy. Again, probably not the best choice but oh well. I get home and my numbers are OFF THE FREAKING CHARTS. I have never in my life had numbers this high. So, thank you hormones.

So I took a trip to the local urgent care clinic (because really I shouldn't have numbers that high ever...that means something is really wrong) and they started to freak out which I was figuring would happen but you know how you always foolishly have a small reserve of hope that it's really not that bad...maybe my strips are bad or my meter's broken...or I had stuff on my fingers when I tested...34 times. Hey, it could happen. But now. Fears confirmed. The nurse lady was really nice, gave me a hug, and explained that I would have to go to the hospital's ER next door because this was a problem that needed to be fixed. That's okay, I kinda knew that was coming. Still sucks though.

Just FYI, when numbers are that high, they need to come down NOW. That said, I will continue.

This is what should have happened. I should have been seen immediately as per my special rush paperwork and the fact that the nurse called over to let them know I was coming. I should have been tested again, poked for blood work, and hooked up to a saline and insulin drip. Then they should have kept testing me every-so-often to be aware of my numbers.

But of course, that's not what happened. This is the complete loss of faith I was talking about. Yeah, complete loss of faith in the emergency medical field. The urgent care people, great. ER, NOOOOO. I was made to wait for about half an hour before I saw someone (and the accident victims wouldn't arrive for another hour so I know they weren't busy). Then I had to ask/beg/cajole/yell at them to freaking test my blood. The doctor wasn't even going to do blood work. Um, hello?!?!? I was not given insulin, which while that's not my idea of fun was probably a good idea. So I left with a prescription for an exorbitant amount of drugs and a HIGHER BLOOD SUGAR LEVEL THAN WHEN I SHOWED UP. Anyone see a problem with this?

So, pretty much my sugars are sky high and I'm acidotic and no one is smart enough to do anything about it. That's right. While the people who can help are playing paper football at the nurse's station, my kidneys and liver are eating themselves. I'm happy about this, of course. Stupidity runs rampant and this is apparently not a problem. In fact, one nurse told me that it was a better idea for me to see them in the ER where they did nothing than to go to an endocrinologist WHO ACTUALLY UNDERSTANDS AND IS CERTIFIED TO TREAT DIABETES. Stoooopid.

I don't know. I'm sure I'm leaving out a lot of stuff but I'm still plenty pissed off a day later. I'm taking the drugs they prescribed yesterday but my body barely makes any insulin so my sugars are still way too high. But at least I have an appointment with a REAL DOCTOR in two weeks.

Moral of the story, in the past four months or so, as my plumbing starts to work and all the hormones re-level themselves, my pancreas has all but stopped making insulin and I'm now treading a fine line between Type II and Type I diabetes. I'm excited. But at least that explains everything...the fatigue, thirst, headaches, hunger, emotional ups and downs. So hurray. That's all. I'm still pissed beyond belief at the horrible standard of treatment I received. Yesterday was in no way a good day. Feel bad for my mother who got to hear me cry over the phone about all this. Repeatedly.

And I'm still feeling like crap.

The end.

(wow there was a lot less TMI in this than i expected!)